Friday, August 02, 2002

10 reasons why Ken pierced his eyebrow

By Carmine "No Jewelry Whatsoever" Lucarelli

10. Job has him feeling more and more feminine

9. Tired of storing toothpicks behind ear

8. Can continue claims of "hipness" despite advanced age

7. Now able to say, "I'm holier than thou."

6. New "Steelers-All-the-Way-Baby" eyebrow rings

5. Slowly building windmill farm on head to power increasingly feeble body

4. Large hoop increases cellphone clarity by up to 10 per cent

3. Family not sufficiently disappointed in him yet

2. Celebrating return of G'n'R

1. No one can stop him.

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