Time warp or dimensional oddity?

The fine people of Northern Life*, specifically the publisher, have signed off on keeping me around until (insert drumroll) the 30th of October. Strangely enough, this once again represents a(n approximately) two-month span.

I'm sure Stephen Hawking, NASA and paranormal investigators worlwide would be interested in the unexplained Northern Life* phenomenon that insists upon two-month periods of employment. Having proudly earned a staggering 33 per cent in my first semester of high school physics, I cannot conclude whether this indicates the presence of some form of time warp in the building located at 66 Sheepherder Ave. W.** or is merely a cross-dimensional oddity centred specifically around the fourth floor*** of said edifice. Perhaps this area is simply the Bermuda Triangle's little sister, although I cannot claim that with any degree of certainty.

I suspect there may be an office pool wagering on the exact moment I have a crippling anxiety-related coronary by the fax machine. I better go put in my five bucks.

* Company name changed to protect the innocent.
** Address changed to protect my incompetent attorney from the aforementioned innocent.
*** Floor changed to protect the Vietnamese pot-bellied pig living above the ceiling tiles.