With files from Steve "Psycho Samurai" O'Neill
Quiet area
= Located next to highway, grabage dump or dance club
Lively/colourful neighbourhood
= Area rife with B&Es, crack addicts and gunshots
Safe neighbourhood
= Area infested with big, mean, starving dogs
Close to TTC
= No parking
Off-street parking
= Every man for himself
High ceilings
= Basement apartment
Bright and roomy
= Small windows, similar to a ship's portholes
Warm and cosy
= Small attic apartment
Newly decorated
= We vaccuumed and mopped after the last tenant
Full kitchen
= Enough room for a microwave and chair combo
Close to restaurants
= Not quite a full kitchen
Family-friendly
= Warning: Lots of screaming kids around
Backyard access
= You can see it from your window
Beautifully maintained grounds
= No trees or grass
Separate entrance
= Landlord lives on main floor
Convenient location
= Helicopter pad on roof
Close to downtown
= No where near downtown
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