Mr. Etiquette: Lavatory pop-ins

Q: Dear Mr. E.

About six months ago I moved into a new condominium in downtown Toronto. My problem is with my aunt. She lives about 45 minutes out of town but loves to come into the city almost every other weekend. Each time she drops by my place, just to use the facilities. Without notice she will come by my building, ring my buzzer, and then ask to use my bathroom. Some times she is alone but often there is an entourage of three or four of her friends. As you might imagine, these surprise visits can occasionally happen at inconvenient times. I also resent always having to have my apartment in a guest-friendly condition. Am I wrong to want these 'visits' to stop?
-- Cindy, Harbourfront

A: Unfortunately for you Cindy, you have made the error of allowing your aunt to be privy to both your address and your weekend stay-at-home habits. Short of moving or abandoning your sanctuary during the times she is most likely to pop in, I suggest leaving your bathroom in so filthy a state that your aunt will quickly come to the conclusion that the deli down the street provides more agreeable facilities. This of course, means you must also endure these sub-par lavatory conditions. Hopefully, this situation will last for a reasonably short period of time, after which you will be rid of your aunt and her busybody friends forever.