Why don't we have any peanut butter? Are the dolphins getting caught in the nets?
Who's more likely to assassinate the leader of a southeast Asian nation -- Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera?
Is daylight savings time the reason we ask, "Where have all the good times gone?"
Is a 13-year-old with a cellphone a sign of the apocalypse?
Are bleeding heart liberals the reason the U.S. government can't afford universal healthcare?
Is the road to hell paved with good intentions -- or cheap canary-yellow linoleum bordered by pointy sticks bearing the impaled heads of the wicked?
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